32 things i would go back in time to tell my 22 year old self if i could
birthday eve reflections
Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday which feels a little surreal. Growing up, 32 sounded like a very adult number. An age by which I should most certainly have my shit together and life figured out. An age by which I would be knowledgeable and wise and certainly qualified to impart my wisdom on anyone younger than me.
While I like to think I have my shit fairly together these days, largely in part to giving up alcohol, I certainly don’t think I have life all figured out. Nor do I perceive myself as particularly knowledgeable or wise. And I don’t know if anyone would say I’m qualified to dole out life advice.
However, when I think back to the girl I was at 22 — so anxious and insecure, desperate to be liked, and hyper focused on appearance — there are a few things I wish I could say to her:
Please, please, please start wearing SPF everyday. Today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not when you’re 27 (the age I actually started wearing SPF everyday). NOW.
For the love of god, do not go into credit card debt to buy yet another ‘going out top’ that looks exactly like the thousand you already own.
Trust your intuition. If something feels off it probably is, so don’t be afraid to leave a situation that doesn’t feel right.
Comparison really is the thief of joy and you have no idea what someone’s life is like behind closed doors.
If the person you are in a relationship with constantly makes you feel like shit, they aren’t the person for you.
There are very few mistakes that you can’t fix and if you can’t fix it, at least try and learn something from it.
You know that nagging voice in the back of your head that’s telling you that you have a drinking problem? It’s right. You should probably quit.
On that note, giving up alcohol will be the best decision you ever make and it will not inhibit your social life in the slightest.
Absolutely no one knows what they are doing. This is everyone’s first rodeo and they are all just doing the best they can with the information they have.
You don’t need a nose job. Be grateful you maxed out your credit cards on the aforementioned going out tops and can’t afford one.
Eating disorders don’t just magically fix themselves one day. You are going to have to put in a lot of work over a lot of years. The sooner you start, the better.
Quality is far more important than quantity when it comes to friends.
Don’t bottle everything up. You will explode and it will be bad. Instead, talk to a therapist about how to effectively process and communicate your feelings.
On the flip side, learn how to apologize when you’ve made a mistake or hurt someone else’s feelings.
And get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.
You don’t need to pretend to like Game of Thrones to impress a boy.
Ditto for football.
And cigars.
In fact, you really shouldn’t pretend to like anything ever because one day someone will ask you a simple question that even the most casual fans should be able to answer and you will be really embarrassed when your bluff is called.
There are so many ways to measure success and your version of success is going to look different than the people around you.
Stop taking everything so personally. Most things aren’t about you!
Most people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have and circumstances they are in. Stop judging everyone so harshly.
You are actually very introverted and the fact you spend literally zero time alone is contributing massively to your anxiety.
Figure out what self-care actually looks like in your life (hint, it’s not the crap influencers are pushing) and actually implement those behaviors.
For fucks sake, please see a doctor about your insomnia. Sleep is the pillar of health and you are doing yourself a disservice by not taking it seriously.
Not everyone is going to like you and, yes, that’s really hard for your people pleasing little heart to accept, but it’s the truth and the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be.
If he wanted to he would.
It’s okay to ask for help. Your real friends love you and want to help you. They actually get hurt when you don’t come to them with your problems.
Strong opinions loosely held is the way. Be passionate and confident about what you believe, but don’t become closed off from receiving information that changes your mind.
You’re not going to get fired over whatever incidental error you're worried about.
The people in your life are far more important than the things.
Always say yes to dessert.
Breathe. Seriously.
Everything is going to be okay.
There is so much more I could say, but I’ll leave it there for now. I’m curious to know what you would say to your younger self if you could? Let me know in the comments!
XOXO,
Maddie
Reading your work and the all the people in the comment section makes this 19yr old so safe and secure about so many things in which I actually needed advises. Thank you Madeline <3 And A delightful Happy birthday!
YES to all of this! Feel like I could've written so many of these points myself!
What a journey your twenties are learning these lessons...