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College is a hard (and a secret eating disorder makes it even harder - I know from experience). I’m only two years out of college and felt so validated reading this. All of my friends from college continue to talk about how badly they wish we could go back and I feel so isolated in my inability to relate to that feeling. Thank you for being open and sharing your experience 💌

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Thank you so much for reading! I'm so sorry to hear that you had a similar experience, but am so happy this piece helped you feel validated. I can very much relate to having friends who wish we could go back and in my first few post-grad years I would just nod and agree, but a few years ago, I sort of snapped and was like I cannot keep up this charade anymore and finally started being honest about how I felt and was amazed at how many people I have found who feel similarly.

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Sep 13Liked by Madeline Paige

As a current college student (also in North Carolina lol), I really needed to read something like this. Thank you for sharing!

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College is just such an intense crazy time in our lives!!! And I didn't realize you were in NC!! Small world :)

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Sep 12Liked by Madeline Paige

i think this is so true for so many. there are certainly parts of college that i adored and where i found two of my closest friends. however, there was a heck of a lot that sucked and things that i wished i did. mentally, some of the worst years of my life but i learned so so much about who i am

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Yes!! I definitely learned so much about myself and my values and for that I am eternally grateful!

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Sep 12Liked by Madeline Paige

The other stuff … was a lot haha! I think people put too high expectations on it :)

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Agreed!!

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That gravitron ride comparison was *chef's kiss* but more importantly, what a beautiful, inspiring reflective piece. I wish I read something like this back when I was in college!

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Ahhh thank you so much Millie!

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Sep 12Liked by Madeline Paige

love love love this! normalize college not being like a movie

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yesss definitely not like a movie!!

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Such an important read, especially for those who are not having / did not have the best 4 years of their life in college (read: most of us). I also convinced myself I was having “so much fun” and had all the late night photos & stories to prove it. But deep down I was just doing what everyone else was doing and behaving how I thought others expected me to act. It’s such an important lesson in listening / paying attention to your internal compass!

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Jessie!!! Thank you so much for sharing!! What you said about the late night pictures and stories… I was looking through mine for the first time in a while when I was editing this post and it’s so crazy to look back on such an uncomfortable time of life.

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Sep 12Liked by Madeline Paige

Beautifully written! As someone who was also extremely lonely in college, it's nice to know I'm not alone. The years following were and are SO much better. 🤗

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Thank you, Kelsey!! And I agree, the post-grad years were the years I finally really started to find myself and my people and it has pretty much been uphill from there!!

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I cringed when I would complain that college was disenchanting and everyone would tell me, “Enjoy it all now — you’ll miss it when you’re gone!” I do not in fact miss it lol I enjoyed my college experience as a whole, but I was SO ready to leave after sophomore year and share your sentiments of feeling frustrated by the expectation of it being “the best four years of your life.” I also went to a school in the southern region — I think we would’ve done better in a more academic-focused setting in the Northeast, but as your pub says, c’est la vie. Thanks for sharing this! 🩵

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